How to cope with victims of abuse and be supportive -be it a child, sibling or friend.

The ladies who have had those experience can identify with what I'm saying. I'm also using my experience to help others understand, so that they will know exactly how to cope with victims of abuse and be supportive -be it a child, sibling or friend.
When someone suffer sexual abuse -rape- or comes close to it, the trauma that follows is usually
almost imaginable. That person's mind goes thru sth that feels like labour pain s and for a long time....it always gets worse b4 it gets better. Mine first sent me into a state of shock, then I started blacking out bcs according to someone, my mind couldn't accept what happen. You are left with feelings of shame, guilt and hurt and it doesn't matter if you've had sex one zillion times tho the younger and inexperienced u are, the worse. It also makes d victim feel helpless thereby making her (or him) more likely to be raped again. That is why almost 100% of victims are likely to be victimized again. It strips one's sense of self worth making her more prone to promiscuity or extreme hatred for sex or the opposite sex.
This is why most ladies who have had multiple partners over time where once themselves, victims of abuse. Also, the memory never really goes away so dont get impatient with her...most people just find a way to cope. Mine was horrible because I had no one to help me go through it. Being already from an unstable home, I moved from partner to partner in search of solace. At a time, sex would feel like outside my body...(still does most times funny enough) and that made me demystify it and jump out of relationships at d speed of light esp given my understandable background. Don't get me wrong, I love God...but i'm human, I couldn't help it. I became scared of sleeping at night and till today, any small noise at night, i'm up and dont sleep again for days. ..if not weeks/months esp at night. If d wrong person touches me at nite, its nite vigil till morning and from that day, I can't sleep well around such a person.

Abuse takes sth away from its victim that is both spiritual and emotional, mental and psychological. Fortunately some do not have such deep scars but like I said, background and personalities differ. Many girls I know who were almost abused had almost similar traumas as those who were bcs the shock and paralyzing fear that comes with it is better imagined. So pls, don't accuse someone of being lazy or sth who is facing possible abuse bcs when its a relative or an authority figure it gets worse bcs who to tell and how to tell it becomes d no 1 problem.

Nobody enjoys it and even when it becomes habitual, it doesn't mean the victim enjoys it. It may be she's resigned, threatened or very scared. I too have been there.

So pls, never joke with the repercussions of sexual abuse in a woman's life. It could alter her course of destiny forever. I watched a story on turning point where d man raped a girl while he was in secondary school. After 30 yrs, he got born again abroad but God sent him back to look for that young lady and beg her forgiveness. 30 years later, she was still crying! She confessed she had never gotten over that incident as it had altered d course of her life forever.

Culled